World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day is on June 1st.
I dont think I have personally come across it-as an awareness day before this year ;its not something i went searching for before either.
Its relatively new-established only in 2016, WNAAD is a worldwide movement dedicated to raising the profile of narcissistic abuse.It aims to provide information, education and resources for survivors, whilst promoting effective understanding of the “unseen” abuse that happens daily for so many people around the world.
#ifmywoundswerevisible is trending on social media platforms today…unfortunately…
Writing this feels uncomfortable still-maybe because I can associate it with my own experience; maybe because its still difficult to admit that self worth and self love is something I will always struggle with.
Maybe because narcissistic abuse is so difficult to explain not only to others, but to myself- and it is truly monstrous.
Being subjected to constant gaslighting, manipulation, denial of self worth, triangulation, projection, withholding ,guilt mongering, emotional abuse…it takes its toll.You start to question everything…all the time.
You dont trust your own reality-as its so distorted that you dont believe it to be true.
You loose self esteem, self worth and try, really hard, to be everything to everyone at all times.
You are constantly exhausted-and forever searching for the “right” thing to say or to do -your life revolves around “should of, could of, would of”.
The idealize-devalue-discard cycle is sprinkled with breadcrumbs of “future faking”.
Silent treatment is a big part of the narcissist’s abuse and just when you think you have crawled out of this dark cave, “hoovering” starts to happen.
As a therapist, it can feel easy to add the theoretical knowledge and come across as all knowing.
The reality is, once you are in this type of relationship-whether its with a parent, boss, colleague, partner, -it can be extremely difficult to see the wood from the trees.
I should know, I’ve been there-repeatedly.
If you are reading this and it strikes a cord-trust that! The heart can be manipulated, the mind can be moulded to fit the needs of the abuser-but your instincts are part of you-so trust what comes to you.
Being in a relationship-whatever type it may be-where you are not valued, understood, wanted,-where you dont feel safe, where you constantly have to walk on egg shells, where your needs and wants are minimised and discarded, where you cant be YOU-is soul crushing.
According to statistics, over 160 million people are affected by narcissistic abuse-If this were any other physical or mental health issue-it would easily qualify as a pandemic.Greater awareness and education is essential in ensuring people are safe.
As humans, we thrive on connection and its therefore completely normal to want to be connected to those around us.
But ask yourself this-is this worth the cost?
If even part of you is unsure-and questions that-listen to that.
Be kind to yourself.